If you follow Carrie Jones' blog like I do (hi, Grover and Tala!), you'd know that Carrie is not only hilarious and creative, but she is also a total foodie. So it doesn't surprise me one bit that she submitted a recipe for Truffles (yum!) in honor of her first YA fantasy, NEED (which is fantastic, btw, and every bit as funny and warm as her blog). CAPTIVATE, the sequel to NEED is available in January, folks! So hurry up and read NEED now! You'll love it, and you'll be just in time to read the sequel.
The I’ve Been Rejected by Devyn Again Truffle
By Issie from the book NEED
STUFF THAT GOES IN IT:
12 oz plain semisweet chocolate (Pretty bad for you, but you don’t care anymore, do you? Oh no, you don’t!)
5 Tbsp heavy cream (Yep. Also bad for you.)
2 Tbsp Kahula or Tia Maria (These are totally boozy things so DO NOT randomly chug it down even if you really REALLY want to because you are so angry at that stinkin’ poopface jerk who should TOTALLY LOVE YOU but just isn’t smart enough to and instead is inspiring Taylor Swift lyrics in your head right this minute.)
8 oz milk chocolate (This is bad for you too, but if you didn’t heed my advice and played around with the ingredient immediately preceding this one, you probably don’t care. Actually. Maybe you should stay away from the stove. Just sayin’.)
- Wipe away the tears of rejection from your sweet face and find the stove. Yes, honey, that’s right it’s in the kitchen. Good!
- In a bowl that can handle the heat (Note: I would make a bad bowl.) put the 12 oz of chocolate over a pan of water that is mildly simmering, like a good love life, which I of course do not have at all. Ahem. Note to self: Do not sob! I repeat. Do not sob!
- Melt the chocolate. Appreciate the way the chocolate looks. Think happy thoughts about your capabilities. We are strong women! We are moving forward!
- Find the liqueur that you have not yet drunk.
- Find the cream that you should not ingest because of the ultra-high fat content. Slowly pour the cream and the liqueur into the heat proof bowl and stir it.
- Here is the hard part: Chill the bowl with the stuff in it for FOUR HOURS. Be positive! Yes, this is a bit of a wait, but isn’t all of life a bit of a wait. And isn’t Devyn, I mean – the truffle worth it! Yes! Yes, he is.
- Do something random for four hours. This something should not include crying. It can include calling all your friends and listening to them tell you how great you are. Tell them how great they are too. Give them telepathic hugs. Try not to call the person who has just rejected you. REMEMBER THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT! Do not GOOGLE their name. Do not GOOGLE their name plus your name.
- Okay. Once you have made it through four hours split the cold stuff into 24 equal pieces. Roll each into a ball.
- Chill it again for an hour. Yes, another hour. Yes, this is evil. Remember how your mom says “GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.” Wow. That’s an annoying saying, isn’t it?
- The wait is over! Like finally getting a kiss that is NOT platonic, you can jump around your kitchen in a total happy dance clutching your truffle babies to your chest.
- Do not ponder whether you or the truffles are good enough even if either you or the truffles look lumpy or kind of funny. You both are more than good enough! Believe me, I know it is easy to start to wonder this. Do NOT succumb!
- Okay. Melt the white or milk chocolate in two itty-bitty bowls. Using two forks dunk the truffles into the chocolate and then place on a tray that you have covered with wax paper or aluminum foil.
- Stare at them. THEY ARE FINISHED!
- They are beautiful. Devour them. You totally deserve it. Oh, yes you do….
Thank you, Carrie!